21

I turned 21 last week. I don’t usually celebrate, but I was on a trip with people — some I’d just met — who made the whole thing feel lived-in, birthday included. It got me wondering: what actually makes life worth living? What makes me happy?

Even though it’s a small fraction of my life, and there are a lot of things I will learn and see from a new angle, I’ve decided to write down 17 things I think matter most:

1. Love — it’s a wonderful feeling. It can be found anywhere: nature, the job or project you’re doing, friends, God, or another human being. I feel loved and love the world in response, yet quite often I do feel lonely. Still, the mere thought of having someone I could truly love and be loved by brings me so much warmth and hope.
2. Be positive — positivity brings more positivity. People feel it, and most importantly — you feel it. Don’t be harsh on yourself.
3. Be kind — being kind isn’t weakness, it’s strength — especially in a world full of cruelty. “Evil is not able to create anything new; it can only distort and destroy what has been invented or made by the forces of good.”
4. Be curious — try a lot of new things: music, acting, something technical. It doesn’t really matter, as long as you build the intuition for what you like doing. For me, it was programming and tinkering with technology.
5. High agency — increase your serendipity surface. Don’t think about doing something — actually do it. Becoming a person who Actually Does Things is the only thing that will help you achieve your ambitions.
6. Socialize — what’s the point of doing things if there’s no one to share the experience with? Meet new people, hang out, have fun, and build stuff together. The world is full of smart, energetic, and optimistic people.
7. Focus on your health — both mental and physical. There’s no point in trying to become happy if your health is terrible. Sleep, work out, move, eat healthy.
8. Create more than you consume — it’s fun. You can build anything. “The world is a museum of passion projects.”
9. It’s okay to be vulnerable — that’s how great relationships form. You will occasionally face people who don’t understand you for this, but there are many others who will love you for it.
10. Compounding — the most underrated force I know. Most things worth having — relationships, capital, skills — grow gradually and then suddenly. Be patient, and look for it everywhere.
11. Be delusional — there are a lot of things in our life now that were “unrealistic” a while ago.
12. Think for yourself — everybody has a different life. Don’t blindly believe something just because everyone thinks it’s correct. Don’t blindly do things just because everyone else does. Think for yourself, according to your own life.
13. Be honest — by lying to someone, you are lying to yourself first and foremost. Being honest builds great relationships with other people — and most importantly — with yourself.
14. Prioritize — there are many things you can do, but there’s not enough time. Be selective and focus on things that matter the most. It’s either “HELL YEAH!” or “no.”
15. It’s okay to feel dumb — embrace it. You will seek more and achieve great things. There’s always room for improvement.
16. Read a lot — you have access to the greatest minds’ thoughts; leverage that.
17. Find something beyond yourself — an ambitious dream, God, children — anything that makes you feel tiny on a life scale.

I sometimes fail to live up to these. Still, I try my best — which I think matters most. These are what I’m trying to live by, for now.